Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Man & Woman

You know, a friend called me this morning and we were just gisting and the next thing she started asking me this rather thought provoking questions and I was wondering what has that got to do with the price of fish in the market lol.... but I realised for her, it did have something to do with it o! In fact it has everything to do with the price of anything she wants to think about right now. Kai, na wa o! the things we get ourselves into, na wa! I'm sure she's not the only damsel in that situation, I guess it's a situation a lot of us find ourselves in one way or the other and at one time or the other. Why we do?? I don't know o! Funny thing is even the smartest, most intelligent of the damsels in town, when they get down to being truthful, you realise they've walked down that lane before too.

Questions:

Moments,
- What do you do when you think you jusy might really love someone? I mean you really do care about someone?
- When you're really not sure if they loveyou back in return and you can't seem to ask
- When all you want to do is just stop all the feelings.... but you just can't seem to find the strength
- When you just want to hear his voice, see his face, but he's just not available
- When you see his number calling your phone and you pick it in excitement, only to find out he just wanted to ask you a simple question.
- When he visits you and you have fun hanging out together and you think there's a spark somewhere, only to start thinking later, maybe there just isn't any spark.
- When you think he likes you very much, but then again, you just can't tell cos you really don't know....

My peeps the qs plenty o! and them just tire... me. I think they were just so on my friend's mind that they just came spilling out because she wasn't even waiting for answer o! she just kept going and going.... just talking, I guess she just needed someone to share her innermost thoughts and confussions with.

And me?? what did Moments have to say o?? In fact even I went into a state of confusion as I thought about these questions and my friend.

She's smart, she's intelligent, she's beautiful, she's got the figure. So, it's not about the fact that she can't have other guys or that she's lacking attention. It's just plain fact that she likes this one person so much and she's not sure she knows if he likes her back that way, or if their friendship will move on from there and that scares her now.

It's easy to listen and be judgemental, thinking.... how could you get yourself there?? what are you still there waisting your emotions, why are you still being his friend, why can't you just take the bull by the horn and ask him, why this why that.....

The truth?? It still doesn't stop the fact that that's where she's at right now and that those are all the emotions she's feeling and all the questions she's asking herself right now.

I think it's hard. Me I honestly didn't know what to say, I mean I didn't have a solution o! I didn't even have advise sef and moments na real madam adviser for those who know me well.... lol.... in fact some of my friends call me "counsellor" and others "shrink" but today, I was just "a friend", a "listening ear" I just so felt for her, I couldn't bring myself to be logical..... The best I remember saying to her is "just take it easy, you'll be fine".

Abi?? even at my desk now, I was just sitting here and thinking about it again and decided to come to blogville o! I know blogvile is full of wise guys and gals who might have a thing or two to say about this, an experience to share. At least this gives an opportunity to have your say or maybe even learn from what is being said.

Hmn... I just hope my friend doesn't stumble on my blog though, I'll be busted lol.... she berra not :-)), oh well and if I'm caught, I'll just say it was my way of finding answers abi now??

Anywayz, you guys, the floor is open..... speak out....

13 comments:

Admin UD said...

Hi Moments, i'll advise ya friend to make the move. She should take a bold step forward. She shouldnt sound desperate or anxious. Just a normal outing, to the movies or anywhere.

I believe there's always a mood and min set for expressing feelings of love. She should initiate such actions and create such environments.

I adduced the guy's fine and everything and da girl aint bad either. Then whats she waiting for? Wait ooo. are you sure the guys not seeing someone already or Gay!

Either way, "you can never tell unless you try eh!"

Lots of luck and God speed!

Hope said...

I don't know about Uzo's comment ooo ... Has the guy given any serious impression that he likes her... maybe he is taking his time and is waiting for the right time! But some guys are funny... the thing is in front of their nose but they can' see it!Just tread carefully so as not to get her heart broken is what i would say!
It is darn hard to slow down tho when one feels the love coming... i don try am e no dey work jare!

temmy tayo said...

I am sure by now that you know TEMMY is not an expert on love matters.

Delilah 3 said...

Second to Temmy T, I dont know what to say. i might make things worse but you know what Dearie? i go after anything or any man to be specific,that i want.it is now left to the rascal to take off in the opposite direction or hang around to enjoy my love.lol. am serious though.

Moments said...

@Ugo: Thanks so much for your comment. Hm... thinking about it now, I think it's easier for a guy to have your opinion compared to a lady.The thing is, we have to take risks at some points in our livs but on this matter, it had better be calculated risk ooo :-))
@sisnaija: You sure are very correct about guys being funny at times. Which time is he taking?? Is it until someone else comes and takes her away from him that he'll know he wants her?? if something isn't about to escape a guy and he has to fight to get it then he never begin, I think that's the past that they enjoy the most, silly guys hehehe...
@temmyt: what do you mean you're not an expert in love matter?? No one is anywaz, but at least we just might have one opinion or the other and you never know, it just might help someone else...
@delilah: Why you wan follow ur friend Temmy?? I like ur style though. Easier for some than for others :-))just as some are stronger than others... you be go getter I can see :-)

Vera Ezimora said...

Hmmmm.

I'd say she ask him where he stands...hypothetically.

Questions like

- r u in a relationship?
- are u interested in some1?
- r u lookin 2 start a relationship?
- would u date a friend?

etc

Don't just spring the questions on him like that. Y'll would obviously have to be on that topic, you know.

Favoured Girl said...

Awww what a dilemma! I have a friend going through the same thing. I would say she should really ask herself what she wants, and how much risk she is willing to take to get it. As a girl though, there's only so much you can do, without blatantly asking the guy out yourself. Like Vera said, she'll need to ask him in a very subtle way.

Simply Gorgeous said...

Moments, I have been where your friend is and I don'tknow. If it was me, I have never approached a guy- no matter how much I liked him. Somehow, I would situate myself where he wold notice me or one of my friends would try to introduce me. It also depends on your friends personality, is she shy to tell him how she feels. I am still missing a lot in order to make a definitive statement. I hope this helps you..


Also come and see the results of the competition. The judges have made their selection for round 1 and none other but our Ugo is one of the judges.

ExcitedJade said...

na jamb questions be this oh.... really,i dont know what to say, but if u look ionto the matter deeply.. i would advice her to ask the bobo out.. period, if she really like him.. y not? though it may sound "somehow".... but abeg, in this day and age... the violents are taking things by force.. laff

Unknown said...

come oh, moments, before i close my eye and count 1 to 10, you will type PART 3 of that story. see me trouble oh... you think i am here for fun! my friend, stop the proscratination and perform ya duties!

iconoclastic said...

If he's a naija guy..dont ask out oh..u know dey can take d piss..hint but neva expressly state, trust moi...

Admin UD said...

Haba to you law_damsel (guess ya yarning from xperience)

btw, if yu've gat time, peep into my blog, i've gat a lil somethn i need help on

Vera Ezimora said...

Moments,

I demand an update right now!! No waste my time o