Ramblings

Hey People, I know you've been wondering where I've been??? I guess I went on a hiatus! a much needed one for that matter and unfortunately today that I decide to write, I'm in one of those really dull, as a matter of fact LOW moments. Life is just funny sometimes, the way things happen, the way life takes a different turn, the way you want something so much RIGHT NOW and it just isn't showing up at your own time and you're becoming so impatient about it... it's almost driving you crazy kind of thing?? who's been there??

I know people will respond saying things like "just be patient", "everything is going to be alright", "pull yourself up", etc. The truth is I know all these things and they're good to say but right now..... they're just not good to hear so please if you do have to say something, maybe try saying something else that might be appreciated cos right now, I'm honestly not in the mood for those lines.

I just need a JOB!!!!! Never been out of one before and this is definitely driving me NUTS right now. I've always wondered how people feel when they're out of work, now I know. I'm such an active person and staying home, just waiting to be called by a recruiter, waiting for that next interview, the response after the interview etc is just all crazy... This is truly a different phase of my life and I doubt if I'll forget it in a hurry.

I'M FR*C*I*G FED UP!! I just don't know what to do with myself so guess what?? I'm doing NOFING. Haven't even taken a shower today, haven't been picking most of my calls either, I'm not alone funny enough, I hve my circle of friends who check in on me every now and again, but guess what?? I don't even feel like talking to anyone right now. I just feel like I need God to do something on my behalf cos I just can't do anything myself right now. I'm just tired fom inside and feel so helpless right now. I really do need a MIRACLE... feels like the world is closing in on me... yeah, i think that's how i feel and i hate it, I hate being helpless, I hate when I can't do much about a situation. I'm the one who gets things done no just sitting around and waiting.... I know someone is thinking of saying "maybe there's something you're supposed to be learning from this", "maybe God has something to teach you", but guess what?? I DON'T WANT TO LEARN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. INFACT, I CAN'T SEEM TO LEARN ANYTHING FROM ALL THIS, ITS DRAINING ME INSTEAD AND GOD KNOWS ME, I'M TEACHABLE, BUT THIS ISN'T THE BEST WAY TO TEACH ME, IT'S JUST DRAINING ME......................................

I think I need to stop before I start to blasphem now, but honestly??

THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!